This form does not yet contain any fields.
    « Sticking it all together | Main | Recent Work »
    Sunday
    Jan012017

    Reaching Back Into the Past: High school 1974-1977

     

    Gender identity came up in my early work quite often. Part of me always identified with the male, leading me to feel an imposter syndrome as a female. Perhaps becasue my mother way such a strong figure, and I worshipped my older brother? I did have, still do have, many fears about my competence in some areas; while in others I have no hesitation and am bold. 

    I see in this drwaing my desire to blossom and hold an open heart. But also, the intellect and the editor inhibit me, poison me. Perhaps this is not so much a gender issue as a more general inability to have a voice in the world, to find the right soil to nurture my growth. I am sad that as a teenager, I couldn't find the right help with this, and resorted to alcohol and alternating wilding versus isolating.


     

    I don't recall that I created much good art in high school. I was way-laid by social problems in adjusting to the move from Baltimore to Amherst and by family adjustments that led me to feel extremely isolated and abandoned. 

    In a few days, I will be visiting my high school teacher and her husband, and may find out things that I have forgotten. Trauma following the high school years, as well as substance abuse during those years, has affected my memory of those times. Whenever I meet someone from back then, I am amazed at their clear recall of what happened.

    When I was sixteen, I moved into my own apartment and proceeded to self destruct at a rapid pace, and ended up dropping out of school and moving to Provincetown. These things did not result in art making. I was trying to find a place I could belong where I could find love and be known. 

     

     

    PrintView Printer Friendly Version

    EmailEmail Article to Friend

    References (1)

    References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
    • Response
      Response: welcome

    Reader Comments

    There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

    PostPost a New Comment

    Enter your information below to add a new comment.

    My response is on my own website »
    Author Email (optional):
    Author URL (optional):
    Post:
     
    Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>